Animals, Life

Halyomorpha Halys

Otherwise known as the Brown Marmorated Stink Bug. It’s been a fact of life in these United States since September, 1998, when it was “accidentally” introduced–probably from its having stowed away in a shipping container–in Allentown PA.  It’s yet another gift from our Oriental friends, along with poisonous plastic-ingredient dog-food, formaldehyde-infused mattresses (maybe they were inside one of those) and lead-paint covered children’s toys.

They are swarming. Outside the house. Inside the house. Stuck to the window screens. Stuck to my clothes. All over the dogs. In the bed. In the bathtub. Eating the leaves on the trees. Swarming the lights. They are sticky, and yes, if you squash them, or step on them, they stink!

As far as I know, there is no environmentally-sound and livable way to control, let alone get rid of them. I’ve tried most of the commonly-suggested methods. The only one that’s at all effective is vacuuming them up. But that’s time-consuming, involves chasing after them one-at-a-time, is noisy, and for some time afterwards, the exhaust from the vacuum stinks of stink bug.

Honestly, they’re everywhere. It’s like a bad Hitchcock movie:

Short of burning the place down (a solution that’s becoming more appealing by the moment), does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get rid of them?

(I suppose, really, I should get a grip.  It could be so much worse, and during my own lifetime, it has been.  I remember growing up in Nigeria and having to check inside every pair of shoes I put on to make sure there wasn’t a small scorpion (or two or three) hiding in there.  Poisonous snakes slithering along the verandah and occasionally hanging from the trees.  Rabid dogs.  Guinea worms.  Cantharides beetle (Spanish fly) infestations.  Water-borne internal parasites.)

Stinkbugs.  So much nicer than many other things.

Excuse me while I mentally assume the Lotus position and chant a great and powerful Om.

. . . . .

It’s not working.

I hate them.

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