Family, Friendship, Music

Music To Bury My Mother By

June 24, 2020 would have been my mother’s 92nd birthday. She died in September 2014, at the age of 86 after a long struggle with the effects of fronto-temporal dementia. Her death was, in the eyes of her children and others who loved her, a release and a blessing. And for her, peace at last.

She’d fallen away from the faith of her childhood decades before, and her children wished only a celebration of her life, and to say farewell to Mum with words and music that she’d have enjoyed. (I’ve often thought that, in an earlier time, Mum might have lived as a wise woman, or a white witch, in a pretty little cottage in the middle of the forest primeval. She’d have liked that, I think.)

Her interment was my first experience with a “green” funeral. She was buried in a biodegradable coffin painted with the wild birds of England that she so loved, in a lovely and peaceful place (an experience which felt so “right” that it inspired my stepson’s green burial a few years later.)

I couldn’t be there. But I Skyped myself in for the audio, so I could hear it. Because my Internet connection is suboptimal, and I wasn’t sure how it would work, I asked my cousin Sarah to read the piece I’d written for Mum.

Front and center of the service was music my mother loved (click to embiggen):



Here’s Mum’s playlist:

Oh. She loved this so much. If this doesn’t make you smile, I’m not sure I want to know you.

Kenny Ball was a perennial favorite. A toss up between this and “Midnight in Moscow.” If I am not mistaken, MIM was, for a time, the theme song for the USSR shortwave radio, as Lillibulero was for the BBC World Service (perhaps even the Russians had, at one time, more of a sense of humor than they exhibit today.

Nat King Cole. The day he died from lung cancer, my mother announced she was giving up smoking forever. And she did.

And. for the 15 years you spent living in Pittsburgh, Mum, with your suitcase packed ready to go “home” to the UK at any minute, Guy Mitchell:

Tsai Chin and “School In Cheltenham,” one of the more respectable songs by one of Mum’s favorites, Paddy Roberts. Mum attended The Abbey School in Malvern Wells (as did I, many years later), which was viewed as rather inferior to Cheltenham Ladies College, which was just down the road. I think this song pleased Mum and made her laugh because she saw it as a bit of payback.

Dickie Feller? Perhaps an acquired taste. But you loved him. Music to make Mr. She’s teeth itch.

Annie Murray and “Snowbird.” Memories of happy times, and summers in Prince Edward Island. So special for me, too.

And, Mr. Acker Bilk.

I share these selections with you in the spirit of affection and fun that we had as we gathered together to celebrate Mum’s life and to say goodbye. A grand time was had by all. I’m sure Mum enjoyed it too.

1 thought on “Music To Bury My Mother By”

  1. Thank you. Another lovely post. And we finished off with her favourite seaside treat, knickerbocker glories – complete with sparklers!

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