Plain Speaking, Quote of the Day, Womanly Feminism

A Horse! A Horse! My Kingdom for a Horse!

Am I the only person on planet Earth who finds the alleged proffering, by Elon Musk to his contract employee, of…umm…a horse in return for doubling down on her sexual favors towards him, more than a little ridiculous?

Good.  I hoped not.

On the other hand, perhaps not so ridiculous (I always try to pay attention and learn from my mistakes when I can), but more about that in a moment.

I’m having a hard time, though, imagining their conversation.  I mean, I’m fairly imaginative, and I’ve read a lot of trashy novels, some of them with Sugar Daddy characters and their obliging young women who form part of the plot.  And I’ve known one or two, or several, of both IRL.  Not a single one of them, IIRC, ever asked for, offered up, or delivered, a “horse” as an enticement to increased erotic pleasure from one or t’other.

My afore-mentioned imaginative take on this is that it’s all just a big misunderstanding, and that the young lady suffered an interpretive failure of homonymic proportions (as sometimes happens and may again very soon) and simply misunderstood the descriptor that Mr. Musk was using (“horse”) as, one might say, a come-hither in his own regard.

When it comes to “not-so-ridiculous-after-all,” I (someone who rarely second-guesses her choices and whose regrets in life she’s largely come to terms with) hafta say that perhaps my decision, early on, not to seek out eccentric billionaires a couple of decades older than myself, and put myself at their mercy, may have been somewhat flawed.

See, I always thought what would be on offer there would be things like naughty undies, or rare and expensive gems and decorative geegaws, fast cars, or an estate in Tuscany or on La Viña del Mar.  Maybe a movie role. Or perhaps an appearance on the cover of Vogue and an invitation, along with all the other Beautiful People, to the Met Gala.

Not a single one of which things appeals to me in the least.

But, a horse? Not something that especially appeals to me either, never mind my fond memories of galloping all over the Nigerian countryside as a child.  But if not precisely the right pew, certainly the right church:

Grand Champion Merino ram?  Sure. I’ll take two.

Or a special Angora doe? Definitely. Aren’t they beautiful?

30 acres in a lovely secluded country spot, close to US family and friends, but far enough away for sometimes desperately-needed peace and quiet?  Yep.

And a slightly larger and more powerful New Holland Compact tractor with backhoe and several other useful agricultural implements included?  Yes, please!

Crimenutely.  When I think of the decades that I, and the man I loved, spent working our hind-quarters off to pay for all this, I’m chagrined.

And yet.

Was it worth it?  As Sarah Palin herself might say, “You betcha.”

So sorry not sorry, Elon Musk (and all your fellow eccentric billionaires).  Your loss.

All the best,


P.S.  Elon, still waiting for “Starlink,” which you said would be available in my neck of the woods by the end of 2021.  Realize you’ve had your hands full, what with Ukraine, and Twitter, and all.  Still, I sent you my hundred bucks to reserve a place, and I’m wondering what’s going on.  When you get a sec, please fill me in. No quid pro quo.  K?

2 thoughts on “A Horse! A Horse! My Kingdom for a Horse!”

  1. “and simply misunderstood the descriptor that Mr. Musk was using (“horse”) as, one might say, a come-hither in his own regard”

    It is possible that there are multiple layers to the mutual misunderstandings, and what what he meant by “come hither” was heard by her as “comely withers”, an auditory malapropism which thereby set the poor lass on a series of further misunderstandings, no doubt then compounded by Musk taking the bit and bridling at chance to gallop away for the simple transactional fee of a gift horse. It would not be the first such mistake in the annals of misbegotten romances – indeed history is littered with many old chestnuts.

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