Lord. I remember, as a child and adolescent, Cliff Richard being the quintessentially British pop star. Better (and bigger) than the Beatles.
He never really made it in the States, where his closest brush with fame came in the mid-1970s with something called “Devil Woman.”
Not really one of my faves, as I wasn’t sure about the “new” Cliff. The old Cliff, star of a number of mid-60s and early 70s adolescent fangirl movies was more my style. Things like “Summer Holiday”
and “Bachelor Boy.”
In hindsight, perhaps I should have been a bit more concerned about Bachelor Boy. But, as it turned out, Sir Cliff (almost uniquely) beat the allegations presented against him in the British witch hunt that was precipitated by the disgusting (also–to the monarchy’s eternal shame–“Sir”) Jimmy Savile. One of those folks, like Marilyn Manson, that it’s impossible to look at without questioning what’s going on there and why any adult person would think a relationship of any kind with someone of this sort was remotely normal or especially something in which one should encourage a child.
Good for Cliff. Unlike (I’m pretty sure) Rolf Harris, a stalwart through 2012 of the monarch’s Jubilee celebrations, I hope he makes it into this year’s.
In 1968, the still fairly young Cliff Richard presented “Congratulations’ as Britain’s entry into the still not-terribly-camp Eurovision Song Contest:
It was one of the biggest hits of his career in the UK, although it placed only second at Eurovision, behind the Spanish entry “La La La.” One I’m sure you’ve all heard of.
Be that as it may, “Congratulations,” was a favorite of my grandmother’s. And of my mother who, as usual, wrote her own words for it. As was often the case, they were unique and somewhat scatalogical, so I won’t repeat them here.
But I do think I have Mum to thank for my own occasional tendencies to go off the rails and make up my own words to popular songs, to suit myself.
And so I offer you:
Triangulations
Miscalculations
You thought that everyone hung on your every word
Triangulations
And aggravations
It seems that many others think you are a turd.Who would believe that I could find happiness without you
I used to think that it was right to never doubt you
But that was in the bad old days while you still had me
When I left you in charge of my heartTriangulations
Miscalculations
You thought that everyone hung on your every word
Triangulations
And aggravations
It seems that many others think you are a turd.(Etc. I could easily go on. But, once again, I suspect you get the idea.)
You can do what the United Nations used to call, in the pre-digital era, “consecutive interpretation” vis-à-vis the original lyrics right here: Congratulations Lyrics.
It’s incredibly easy for me to toss these sorts of things off, a fact which I attribute to my poor Mum, and which has resulted in a great deal of fun and much pleasure for me and for those I love over the years.
I’m grateful to her, and also to life’s occasional circumstances which inspire the imagination and make such things possible.
Thank you, Mum. Thank you, life.
PS: Watch out for triangulation, often called “the narcissist’s best play.” Don’t feed the beast. It only encourages them. And they love it.
